I think I need a life. I have been in such a waiting mode, taking care of everyone else for so long, that I have lost myself. Maybe my problem is I have all my eggs in one basket. Maybe the answer really was to do something else. The problem is, everything I tried to do here got shot down. I have never in my life had a problem getting a job. granted, I am dealing with a very small subset of available jobs, as I physically am so limited in what I can do in my chosen profession. Everything in me says I am supposed to go to Mexico. All the signs point to that, everything shutting down here. Even someone who wants my house. It’s crazy. If I don’t do that, then what do I do? half of my money is gone now. I have one foot there and one foot here. I am just not sure what to do now. I don’t understand why he is freaking out now. he says he remembers talking about everything we talked about. I really thought we had a plan. I don’t understand where this is all coming from. At this point, I feel like something needs to happen outside of us both. Something to help make things clear. I don’t know what..I just hope it happens soon.